Thursday, August 29, 2019

My Top 10 Favorite Epic Rap Battles of History

Well um, this is quite a random post so yeah. Don't come at me making this random post or what's contained, please that would be appreciated. Anyways, yeah if you don't Epic Rap Battles is a youtube by Nice Peter and EpicLLOYD and to be honest, they are quite talented and do a lot to put out wholesome content. Anyways, we'll start.

10. Mozart vs. Skrillex (Season 2)
Man, this is really good. They just go back and forth about their music and personality and it's quite funny. However, Mozart just keeps going on his music and it's really good on what he puts down. Saying that there's more complexity in a couch from IKEA than Skrillex's music. Skrillex just can't put a fight so here Mozart wins.
Winner: Mozart

9. Gandhi vs. Martin Luther King (Season 3)
Woah this was out of nowhere. The production is great and Gandhi goes off of Martin Luther King saying he plagiarized his speech for his and talks about how he needs to eat better in his next verse. MLK uses punchlines and makes his comeback weak and especially his last lines are just weak and yes I know he's very religious but it just didn't work in the flare of this battle.
Winner: Gandhi

8. Santa Claus vs. Moses (Season 2)
Well, this was interesting since Snoop Dogg was Moses and this was really funny. Santa starts to talk about himself and what he's like but wow Snoop Do- I mean Moses comebacks hard and the line that won it was simply "You took the Christ out of Christ-mas and added more mass" yikes and calling his elves "slave". His elves take the majority of his second verse saying "Here's A GPS...who gets lost for 40 years?", wow. Anyways, Moses just holds up the whole time and easily takes it. Anyways, the production is great and it flows very well.

7. Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates (Season 2)
This used to my favorite when I first viewed this channel and it's still good. Steve Jobs just talks about how Apple is simply better than Microsoft. And Bill just does the same. Next, they go back and forth about why their companies are better than the others. Soon enough Steve "dies" and comes back as HAL 9000 which I have no idea what that is but yeah because once he leaves Bill just starts a flex-fest but gets shut down by HAL 9000 so yeah. The production is great and sounds well and fits the theme.
Winner: HAL 9000/Steve Jobs

6. Wayne Gretzky vs. Tony Hawk (Season 5)
Well, first I got to say this production is awesome. Tony starts by simply trash-talking about Wayne and how he snorts cocaine and how his team always defend him. Wayne comes back and talks about his wife and then says "You're on your fourth wife, talk about the X Games".  Next, Tony comes back weak just simply saying how his rhymes are lame and that hockey sucks. However, Wayne murders him saying that they've set 184 records but Wayne has set 183 of them that just closed it down.
Winner: Wayne Gretzky

5. Gordon Ramsay vs. Julia Child (Season 5)
Well, this was crazy. Gordon comes in and simply trash-talks Julia. Soon enough Julia talks and then says how he's a douche and that how his food is just straight-up trash. Soon enough Gordon comes and then gets to the cooking saying she's the master of heart disease and who would want to cook cow brains. Julia finishes this rap saying how he's just a jerk. So basically, Gordon roasts her on the cooking as Julia roasts his personality, so it's quite hard to say who won but...
Winner: Julia Child

4. Jacques Cousteau vs. Steve Irwin (Season 6)
The battle of the conservationists. Jacques starts by talking about how he's a "sweaty showman" and lists his achievements and says "Were you killed by a fish kids pet at the aquarium" that really hits, doesn't it? Anyways, Steve comes in and talks about his physical features and how he can't handle nature at all and his scandals and then he says "Embrace your French nature and quietly surrender".
Jacques comes in and continues about his son and he almost killed him but then Steve comes back saying how his brother was a nazi. Anyways, their last verses are basically punchlines but besides this the production is great. Also, these accents are amazing.
Winner: Steve Irwin

3. Shaka Zulu vs. Julius Caesar (Season 4)
We start off with Shaka and how if he steps into Africa he'll get murdered and "F'ed more by Cleopatra in Africa". Anyways, Julius starts by saying he doesn't know who he's messing with and how he'll get easily killed by his army. Next, Shaka talks about how he gets killed by his friends and his war tactics. And what wins this even though this was the closest battle out of all these is how Julius explains his counterattack to his attack and after that hard-hitting verse, Julius says he won't kill them he rather enslave them. This production is great too.
Winner: Julius Caesar

2. Wonder Woman vs. Steve Wonder (Season 5)
This is great. Wonder Woman who is Lily Singh comes in and how Stevie stole the look and appearance from Ray Charles. Next, Stevie Wonder who is played by T-Pain out of all people talks about how "DC is a whole step down" in which in music, it is. He also goes on to says how she is Ms. Independent but how her first story is her running off with a guy. Next, Wonder Woman talks about how she wished he started drinking after listening to his music and how his videos raise vision questions. Next Stevie just simply turns it on her talking about her invisible airplane. Wonder Woman talks about he has 9 kids with 5 different mothers. However, Steve comes in with the most savage verse ever. Saying "With plots so thin, ever I can see through", and then finishes on how her tiara not coming back from this. The production is awesome too.
Winner: Stevie Wonder

Honorable Mentions:
Che Guevara vs. Guy Fawkes
Winner: Che Guevara

Rasputin vs. Stalin (vs. Lenin vs. Gorbachev vs. Putin)
Winner: Gorbachev

Napoleon Dynamite vs. Napoleon Bonaparte
Winner: Napoleon Bonaparte

George Carlin vs. Richard Pryor (vs. Bill Cosby vs. Joan Rivers vs. Robin Williams)
Winner: Robin Williams

1. Theodore Roosevelt vs. Winston Churchill (Season 5)
This one by far takes the #1 spot. The amazing production is so old-school and flows so well and fits with modern music sometimes. It easily wins that over against others. However, the verses from each are amazing. Roosevelt talks about the Panama Canal and that his rhymes are pure like his food and drugs. He then goes on to diss Winston's look and then goes on to talk about how his miserable state is the size of one state. He then talks how he needs to do-si-do on over to a twelve-step program. Winston then comes in and talks about how he'll take him out prematurely, like his family.  He then just says he'll beat him and how he is asthmatic while he can smoke all day. Roosevelt comebacks saying "My parents died, while they were young and it was morbid, but at least they didn't ditch me when they were alive like yours did" That really hurts. He then goes on how he should be ashamed of his military honor and says to change his poster to "Keep calm and kiss my cousins' ass" referring to Franklin D. Roosevelt, his cousin. Winston comes talking about how he's an overgrown Boy Scout and if Mount Rushmore was a band, he'd play bass. He then says how if a bullet to the chest stops him, his words will. Then there are two more weak lines from each which almost left this song at #2, but that beat you can't get over which edged it out over #2.
Winner: Theodore Roosevelt

No comments:

Post a Comment